


Philadelphus Coronarius

by junodaisuke



Category: Persona 2, Persona Series
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Gen, HEY guess what look up the title and its meaning ;), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marukis Reality AU, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, theres a lot going on here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28498731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junodaisuke/pseuds/junodaisuke
Summary: According to Philemon, the rumor system has been undone, and with it, the threat of Nyarlathotep, the Masked Circle, and the Last Battalion.As if it’s too good to be true, life returns to normalcy and peace.Things really do seem a little too good to be true- Lisa’s parents have changed and began to teach her English, Eikichi’s band  is alive and gaining popularity faster than ever, Maya’s father seems to be back somehow after decades, and Tatsuya is... head over heels for Jun suddenly.Supposedly thanks to a mysterious persona user named Takuto Maruki.Jun knows something is wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.Yet how can he convince the others that Maruki is not to be trusted, when he’s saved them from destruction, and reality just seems- perfect?
Relationships: Kurosu Jun/Suou Tatsuya
Comments: 25
Kudos: 55





	1. The Ideal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LunaDePlata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDePlata/gifts).



> this is NOT a p5/p2 crossover fic!!! the focus is entirely on the p2 cast and universe, its just a marukis reality au. theres some aspects inspired by p5/p4/p3, but everything gets explained, so you really dont have to know much about the newer games. 
> 
> also a tatsujun slowburn the gays are back at it

There was something not quite right about the Scorpio Temple.

Having braved the fiery heat of the Leo Temple, the cold, empty depths of the Taurus Temple, and the elusive path of the Aquarius temple, they were ready for whatever shadow dared challenge them here- only to find quite literally  nothing. 

A rather jarring emptiness filled the cavernous shrine. Where a twisted, pathetic reflection of Eikichi should have been awaiting them, there was simply a crumbling staircase which the real Eikichi approached tentatively.

“Stay alert,” Maya reminded him. He nodded, drawing his heavy encased machine gun. 

“Hey, coward! Come out here so we can kick your ass!” Lisa taunted, only to be elbowed in the ribs by a scowling Eikichi. Before the two could bicker any further, Tatsuya shot them a glare. “You heard Maya. Anything could be around the corner here, so be ready.”

Jun nodded, his hands reaching for the flowers in his pockets- brandishing two blue hyacinths like knives. 

So they waited, weapons drawn.

A rather awkward length of time passed, frankly, before Jun let his guard down and turned to face his friends quizzically. “If they wanted to ambush us,” he kept his voice low. “They could’ve done it by now.”

Tatsuya said nothing, keeping his sword hoisted. 

“Do you think we should... look for the skull?” Maya finally asked. The others nodded, exchanging quick weary glances. 

They hadn’t made it halfway up the steps before the ground began to rumble beneath them- at first, slight enough to seem like a mere vibration, before crescendoing into a violent shaking, throwing them off balance faster than they could even grasp what was happening.

The last thing Jun heard before he was knocked out was Lisa’s panicked slew of profanities, Eikcihi’s high pitched yelps- and the clatter of Tatsuya’s katana against the stone ground. 

Regaining consciousness, Jun tried to sit up, his vision adjusting in and out to the familiar golden pillars and black and white tiles.

_ Sorry to bring you all here so rudely. I’m afraid the matter was rather urgent.  _

...Philemon.

The others began to stand up and steady themselves as Jun did the same, taking in the brilliant expanse of darkness that surrounded Philemon’s... unconventional choice of residence. 

His tall, black clad human form stood anxiously before them. 

“Man, you coulda just teleported us here nice an’ easy like last time,” Eikichi groaned. It never failed to shock Jun how casually his friends addressed a literal god. 

Maya whispered something about manners to the younger boy before turning and bowing her head to Philemon. “Ah, what’s going on? The Scorpio Temple was empty- we think-“

_ I know.  _

“Sorry-“

_ The shadows, ah, no longer exist.  _

Before they could express any shock or confusion, he continued. 

_The rumor system. It is... gone. Abolished, somehow, and along with it, all it’s products._

“What the hell do you mean, ‘gone?’” Lisa demanded. 

Maya, once again, quietly told her younger counterpart to calm down, before being cut off again.

_Consider it... dismantled. Almost all of it’s effects, reversed._

Still a bit shaken, Jun couldn’t quite process this. If the rumor system no longer existed, then...

“So... it’s over? No more Masked Circle? Last Battalion..? It’s all...” Eikichi stammered in disbelief.

Philemon nodded. 

“And... what of Nyarlathotep?” Jun asked. He feared the worst, but the god simply shook his head. 

_I can no longer sense his presence, nor that of the demons and destruction which plagued your city._

The five of them fell silent. 

This was happening too fast. 

Jun’s head hurt. 

“Why?” Tatsuya finally spoke, deep and soft. Jun flicked his eyes towards him- he found himself able to read his emotions rather easily, despite his stony exterior. He seemed... conflicted. Sad, almost, like there must be some sort of catch, there must be something,  anything  that would place yet another hardship on him and his friends. 

_ A man named... Takuto... Maruki. _

Tatsuya’s eyes widened, his expression alone pushing for more answers, only for Philemon to shake his head once more. 

_ I cannot offer any other knowledge at the moment. But I can feel him... he is responsible. Find him. Thank him. You are... Free. _

His words echoed emotionlessly, entirely apathetic to the weight of them. Before anymore could be said, the familiar blinding golden light enveloped their bodies and- 

Jun awoke on his mattress, alone.

He stared at the white ceiling. 

It stared back mockingly. 

Jun was snapped from his hazy state at the sudden remembrance of what exactly he had just learned. If what just happened was in fact, not a dream, then they were really... done fighting? Forever?

The thought of a normal life, the certainty that he would live to see each next day, maybe even have a  future,  his head rushed with all too hopeful fantasies that had somehow been granted. If it really was over... he needed to be sure. 

“I can’t believe it either,” Michel’s voice muffled from the other end of the line. “I mean, fucking  _finally_ ,  we can just breathe. When I woke up in my own bed, I won’t lie, I thought it was some damn crazy dream.”

“Me too.” Jun breathed deep relief. “Sorry to call at such a late hour, I just... had to be certain.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you did, or else I mighta thought I was goin’ crazy.”

The other boy’s lax demeanor always made him smile. “It’s almost too good to be true,” Jun laughed slightly into the phone, the static of the landline echoing it back to him. 

_It really did seem a little too good to be true._

Eikichi yawned in response. “Well, yo, I’d love to talk more about how fucking wild this is, but I have band practice tomorrow and I don’t wanna be a total zombie. Beauty sleep, y’know? You understand, I’m sure,” he teased.

Jun was just about ready to shoot a witty remark back at him before his words registered with him fully.

_ Band practice. _

A flash of memories that felt like a distant nightmare pierced his mind for a moment.  Eikichi’s band mates... they were reduced to shadows. Nothing. By his own, disgusting, white gloved hands. 

“Jun? Ya there?”

“...Michel? Did you... start a new band?”

“ ‘Course not. Still Takeshi, Shogo, Ken... you’ve met them before, yeah?”

The boy’s hollow faces, drained of life, were the only thing that came to mind.

Had his-  _ Joker’s  _ victims been brought back? Those twisted actions, finally undone? 

“How- the destruction of the rumor system, did it reverse...” Jun often found himself struggling to refer to what he had done as  _ Joker’s  _ wrongdoings, but it weighed on him worse to consider them his own, at times. “Did it reverse the effects of Joker, too?” 

Eikichi huffed on the other end. “Jun, are you feelin’ ok? You’re probably still exhausted an’ stuff, man. I don’t, uh, really know what you’re trying to say.” He sounded amused, somehow, like Jun had informed him of something preposterous. 

Jun tried to stay patient, but at times, Eikichi was dense. He supposed he needed to spell it out for him. “You were there, on that day they tried to play the Joker game, and they were- you know. Drained of their life force? Because of me?”

“Dude, I know you still feel guilty about all that shit, but I think you’re exaggerating..? Nothing happened to ‘em as far as I know.”

_ What the hell..?  _

He felt his breathing pick up, trying to make sense of the events of the last hour. Had the very  memories  of it been undone too? What exactly had been affected by this sudden elimination of the rumor system? 

Jun clenched the phone cord, closing his eyes and steadying his voice before he spoke again. “Sorry, you’re right. I’m just tired. Goodnight, Michel.”

“Uh... goodnight.” 

He put the phone back down on the receiver a little harder than he probably should’ve. 

Despite his racing thoughts and pressing questions, it was going on 3 am, and sleep eventually found Jun’s worn body. He dreamt a little more vividly than he usually did- of masks, of flowers, of rigid bodies, emptied of their energy by his own doing. 

it wasn’t uncommon for such visions to plague his sleep, but rarely did they feel like such bold memories rather than hazy nightmares. 

_ What was the difference between Joker and Jun, again.. ? _

Jun woke with a familiar name in his mouth.

_ Takuto Maruki. _

The man supposedly responsible for their liberation, as Philemon put it. 

Sitting up, he glanced towards the white, clunky computer perched on his desk, tempted to search it up, but it wasn’t the best time to fall down a rabbit hole on the internet. 

He promised himself he would investigate later, maybe talk to the others- but first, he needed to change out of the Kasugayama uniform, feeling slightly embarrassed he had neglected to do so in the past day.

But maybe he can forgive himself, considering the chaos that had come about.  _ Or rather, lack thereof. _

He’d nearly forgotten he did have plans today, after all.

A chance to put aside things, even for just a few hours. Though his mind buzzed with anxious thoughts, he was determined to believe that this was real, that this was his happy ending.

Jun strode towards his small bedroom window overlooking Sumaru City. The apartment was tiny and cheap, but it had a view that expanded all the way to the sea breaking on the city’s edge. 

It looked peaceful. 

Not a trace of the havoc and destruction that had reigned just a day before. Like someone had simply transformed it into a utopia. He hoped, whoever Maruki was, that he really had.

He checked the slender face of his watch, which indicated he had only 20 minutes to get ready before he was getting picked up. He could worry about this mysterious man later. 

Jun would never, ever get used to Tatsuya’s motorcycle. No matter how careful he was, how snugly he wore the helmet, how slow or empty the roads were, he always grasped onto him tighter than necessary. 

It didn’t particularly help that Tatsuya tended to go fast, as though it would impress him. 

They were headed to Aoba Park today- it had been Tatsuya’s idea, after they rescued Jun at Caracol, to meet up after he’d begun to regain stability, and the two of them hanging out had become somewhat regular afterwards. 

There was no reason to cancel today, despite the odd circumstances. After all, if everything truly was over, didn’t that mean they could finally relax? Do this more often? 

Dismounting the bike and securing each of their helmets around the handlebars, the boys wandered across the pavement and towards those gorgeous garden paths just ahead. Jun had already begun to plan out in his head the flowers he would tell Tatsuya about; their mythology, their meanings... he wanted to discuss his odd phone call with Michel, too, just to see what he thought. 

Before he could start any conversation, however, Tatsuya began to speak. 

It was rare that he initiated anything- he was typically the type to let others take the lead in their talks, so when he did speak first, Jun was careful to listen. 

He fumbled his words for a moment before clearing his throat. “Ah- I wanted to talk. To you, I mean. About... what happened at the Taurus Temple.”

Jun thought back a mere two days earlier to Lisa standing on the stairs of her temple, formally telling Tatsuya how she felt, only for him to respond apologetically that he had feelings for Jun. 

Jun himself had brushed it off at the time, thinking most likely he was just trying to evade Lisa’s advances by saying he liked boys. 

They had been avoiding this conversation, really.

“It’s ok, Tacchi. I understand. If someone pursued me that relentlessly, I would’ve made up something on the spot, too,” he reassured, averting his gaze to some nearby lillies.

“No, it, um, it wasn’t like that.”

Jun did not want pity, of all things.

“Please, you don’t have to say that just to make me feel better.” Jun’s heart pounded- but not in the way it usually did around Tatsuya. Maggots in his guts had replaced the usual light butterflies.

_ There was just no way this all could happen to him so fast. _

“Jun... I meant it.”

_ Too good to be true.  _

Tatsuya stopped in his tracks, turning to face Jun and gripping his hand. 

_ His life couldn’t magically be this perfect overnight.  _

He felt Tatsuya start to lift his cheek and-

_ Something’s wrong. _

“Stop.” 

Jun pulled away, easing his tone at Tatsuya’s dejected expression. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel well.” It wasn’t entirely a lie.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s’ s... that’s ok. I’m sorry.” He leaned down and plucked a handful of lillies, pressing them into Jun’s hands, at which he flinched. “I really do have feelings for you, Jun. It wasn’t an excuse or- a lie. I like you. A lot.”

Jun should have felt overjoyed at those words, but felt the knots in his stomach worsen instead. 

Awkwardly putting the flowers in his pockets, he looked up at Tatsuya, slightly stepping back upon realizing the other boy was staring right into him.

His eyes looked different.

Glazed over with something foreign, his pupils unnervingly large and dark with- _obsession_ _._

The sick feeling that been aching inside him since Philemon’s news was starting to wrench deeper. Tatsuya had insisted, practically  _ demanded _ , that he drive Jun home, but he stayed firm on walking. Even if it took him an hour or so to get home, it was better than withstanding an awkward trip home on his motorcycle, hugging his waist.

He couldn’t shake the feeling of those eyes filled with some uncomfortably sudden infatuation. Jun himself had long since stopped denying to himself the feelings he had for him, yet...

Tatsuya going from presumably straight and a touch withdrawn to  _passionate enough to try to kiss him without warning-_ well, something was wrong. Even if part of Jun had wanted to indulge in it, his instincts screamed otherwise. It was unlike Tatsuya, someone so hesitant and introverted.

He eventually reached his apartment weary and a little hungry, immediately going for the fridge only to be met with old carry-out and an opened soda. Remembering he lived on his own now, he made a mental note to grocery shop at some point. 

Jun settled for instant ramen. It’s artificial taste reminded him of the years when he ate nothing but this, for weeks at a time, as his mother seldom cooked for him or spared him food in the first place.

Memories of desperately trying to operate the microwave for a hasty meal while his mother was out stung for a moment before he pushed them from his mind. 

Of course, now was just about the worst time to think about his childhood. Tossing out what little he ate, he returned to his bedroom, passing by his desk.

_ Takuto Maruki... _

Again the name rang in his ears.

The computer tempted him with the possibility of answers, answers to questions he had more now than ever, but the thing was tedious to boot up and operate. It was a rather old model anyway. Tomorrow, he promised himself again.

5 pm wasn’t the best time to sleep, but Jun’s circadian rhythm was so beyond fucked, it didn’t quite matter to him anymore.

He’d rather sleep than stay awake anyway.

He dreamt once again of masked figures and sneering smiles with flowers laced in their teeth. 


	2. The Gentle Madman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> persona 2: jun goes apeshitt

The white lilies Tatsuya had hastily given Jun yesterday were still in his pocket, squished and dried slightly.

He did his best to straighten them out, tempted to maybe tuck them into one of his flower pots, but he opted to throw them out. It pained him to throw away such beautiful petals, but they were attached to a rather uncomfortable memory. 

A splitting headache that had been festering for three days now only got worse with the lack of food and- medication.

_ Fuck. _

He’d forgotten.

Jun made a quick round over every shelf in the house until he found it, shaky hands settling on the neon orange bottle as he fumbled with the lid. Tilting a few pills into his palm, he downed the contents and sighed, sinking against the bathroom floor.

He caught his disheveled and pale reflection in the mirror, and disgust ran through him.

When he had been- well, if you could even distinguish the two forms-  _Joker_ ,  the man he thought to be his father had kept him on a rather heavy “prescription” that tended to keep him out of it and complacent. 

But more importantly it had kept him weak. Dependent. He was ashamed that he still found himself still needing to take it even after everything (and maybe even surprised it hadn’t magically vanished like everything else) but without it, he felt even worse.

It quelled the headaches and shaking, but his stomach still ached for something of substance. He had no money, and he’d be damned if calling his mother to beg for some was a better option than starving, so...

He was sort of running out of options. 

Well.

There was someone he could call.

Typically, he was reluctant to use his pathetic and helpless state to get his way, but the second Maya heard his shaky voice on the phone, his worries eased as she reassured him it would be no problem to grab some takeout and keep him company for a bit. 

That woman really did have some maternal instincts.

He was in the midst of putting away dishes last minute when he heard her pounding at his door, quickly smoothing his hair to the best of his ability and letting her in. 

Maya stood at the entrance for a moment, taking in the tiny living space and slipping off her shoes. She said nothing, her mouth slightly open as Jun tried to figure out what she could be gawking at. 

“Do you... live by yourself, Jun?” 

Oh. Right. It was pretty unusual for a high schooler to have their own apartment, wasn’t it? He nodded. “I had some rather odd circumstances,” he shrugged it off without explaining much else. It would be a pain to, anyway. 

Maya didn’t question it, setting down the plastic bags that smelled  _ deliciously of warm food  _ on the nearby countertop and sliding into one of the barstools as Jun perched himself on the one across from her. 

“I’ve been a little worried about you, so I’m glad you called. Michel told me you seemed a little out of it and Tatsuya said the same, so I’ve been meaning to come check up on you.” The older woman’s usual cheerful demeanor was comforting most of the time, but right now it felt a little out of place. She continued about how great everything had been these past few days as she unwrapped the food, giggling as Jun hastily did the same. 

She had brought vegetarian harumaki rolls and- as much as Jun tried to maintain his manners, he was famished. “Sorry,” he muffled though a mouth full.

“It’s okay! It’s okay. Eat, please. You need it.”

“Thank you again. Really, you didn’t have to do this, Maya.”

She shook her head, reassuring him it was no problem and began to dig in herself. Jun observed her as she ate- she looked more put together than usual, her dark hair in a neat bun and dressed in practical neutral colors for once. 

“How have you and Ulala been?” Jun asked, doing his best to put on a polite front. 

Maya broke into a grin at the mention of her roommate. “Wonderful. She’s teaching me to cook you know, now that I have more free time. It’s a bit of a process, but I think I’m learning. Little by little.” 

“That’s good to hear. Maybe I’ll hold off on taste testing anything, though.”

The woman’s laughter was always so warm, infectious, even. “Are you sure, Jun? I promise I’m not  that  terrible- no one’s died from eating my food yet.”

“Just like no one’s been killed from your driving?” 

“Hey! Being an adult is tough, y’know. You’ll see one day.” The two smiled and locked gazes for a moment before bursting into laughter once more. 

“Ok, fine. Maybe I’m a little bit of a mess sometimes. But to answer your question, we’re doing good. Better than ever, actually,” she continued.

Jun nodded. Everyone around him seemed to be in a better mood lately. As if no one else noticed anything remotely off. He reconsidered Maya’s words- how Eikichi and Tatsuya had both felt something was off about him.

Which reminded him.

“Have you spoken with the others since... you know.” Jun began tentatively, unsure how he would even bring this up.

“Mmhm,” she nodded, mouth full of food. “Everyone’s doing pretty good. Eikichi’s band scored a gig at a small festival out in Hirasaka this weekend. I think Lisa and Tatsuya were gonna go- it might be fun if you went, too.” 

_ Sounds great Maya! Haha, about that, Eikichi’s bandmates basically died because of me, remember? Apparently not.  _

Jun paused for a moment, sorting his thoughts before speaking. “I’m asking because, well, I have some fears about this whole thing. Everything seems a little, ah...  too  good to be true, if that makes sense. I mean, Michel’s bandmates shouldn’t be alive, really, after - -what happened.”

Maya fell silent, so Jun continued. 

“I mean, what  _ exactly  _ was undone because of the rumor system being reversed? There’s too many inconsistencies. Michel didn’t even  _ remember  _ anything happening to them but-“  


“He told me you said this stuff to him, too. I know this is a lot at once, but I really don’t understand what you’re worked up about. Everything’s fine, Jun. Perfect, even.”

Perfect.

Those words sent a chill through his spine, and he turned away from her. The gut feeling was once again screaming that something was horribly wrong. “You can’t be serious... Maya... please tell me you’ve noticed things are the slightest bit strange?” he pleaded.

He felt a warm hand on his back. “Hey... you’re worrying me. Are you sure you don’t need anything else?”

Jun shook his head. “You’ve always been too kind to me.” It was true. Even when there was blood on his hands, she had loved him and protected him.  _ Something he most certainly did not deserve.  _

The warmth on his back grew, and he realized she was hugging him from behind. He leaned into it for a moment before she parted, smiling softly and grabbing the emptied food containers and utensils. “Ah- don’t worry about that, please, I can get it,” Jun protested, but Maya swiftly cleaned up. 

Sometimes the word “Mom” nearly slipped from his tongue when he was with her. 

He decided he wouldn’t worry her anymore with this.

After a bit of chat and heartfelt reassurance, Maya remembered she had a budget meeting- whatever that was- and hurried out in her usual clumsy, forgetful fashion, leaving behind a frustrated Jun with even more questions than answers. Once again.

And yet again, he stood up and paced towards the computer in his room, _this time he was really going to find out who Maruki was_ -

But he remembered while he had been with Maya, his phone rang, and he had unplugged it, assuring her it was no big deal and he would call whoever it was back later.

He ought to check his voicemail, anyway. The phone was a corded black one, cheap and old, like everything else in he owned. Lifting the receiver, he pressed the pound key and touched in the pin, skipping through useless old voicemails until landing on the most recent. 

The static laced voice that played made his blood run cold. 

_ “Hello, Jun?  _

_ It’s your mother. _

_ I was wondering if you’d like to meet up sometime for coffee and brunch? You haven’t visited me in quite some time, baby. I miss you.  _

_ Maybe you can pick out some flowers for me. You know I love your bouquets. Call me back, ok?  _

_... I love you!  _

_ -BEEP.  _

_ To listen again, press-  _

Jun ripped the receiver from the number pad, snapping the cord. Without a second thought he hurled it, sending it flying across the living room and smacking his wall with a hollow thud. 

His eyes couldn’t seem to focus, his head pounded too harshly to even register what he had just done, he didn’t care, he wanted to scream, _rip his hair out_ , he wanted to snap that woman’s neck-

_ I love you.  _

Those words sounded foreign and disgusting in Junko’s voice. The gentle, almost playful tone made him nauseous. 

_ Fuck, FUCK, what the fuck was going on, it was like someone had just fixed everything wrong in the world overnight, as if someone- _

_Maruki_.

Jun suddenly remembered to breathe, gasping for a second before letting out a sob and leaning on his wall, the world spinning around him. Those words, those precious, loving words he’d wanted to hear so badly his entire life, for some fucking reason it hurt worse to hear them in a false voice than to be denied hearing them in a real voice.

He suppressed the urge to vomit and steadied himself, his mind dizzy with memories of his bitter childhood, of worse hunger than he’d ever felt, of bruises he hid from his unsuspecting friends,  _ of his mother, his fucking mother, who never touched him once, _

not once.

Then why now, was she reaching out to him? 

Maruki.

_ Maruki. _

Jun was really, really starting to hate that name. Barely keeping himself upright, he stumbled into his bedroom.His vision had barely focused as he booted up the PC, catching his reflection in the screen and once again letting out an ugly sob. 

He tried to breathe while it started up, anything to stop himself from passing out when he needed answers more than ever. The search engine application opened and he carefully entered the kanji for Takuto Maruki, although it took him a few tries with shaking hands. 

It took an eternity to load the search.

The dim screen began to show an assortment of links, before Jun’s eyes settled on the top result.

The Seven Sisters High staff members website. 

_ What the hell...  _ he mouthed, sitting up straight, suddenly focused. He clicked on the link, and once again, it took a moment to load the site while Jun impatiently toyed with the mouse. He scrolled through the page until he found the man’s name, under the guidance counselor section alongside a handful of other names he vaguely remembered from his time at Sevens. 

He wondered if he still had his old uniform. 

_ He wondered if anyone would notice if he slipped it on and snuck in. _

Shutting off the computer, he threw open his closet and dug through bins nestled at the bottom, fishing out the familiar old black and white uniform. He grinned, maybe a little devilishly, and pulled out the orange tie indicative of a second year status. Surely he could pass for someone a little younger? He was small, thin... this would work. 

It had to.

He laid out a plan, and that night he dreamt of butterflies tangling in his mother’s long hair and hollow flesh. 

Jun hadn’t been to school in months, really, and it had been nearly a year since he had last been inside Sevens. Since Lisa lived just across the street from the campus, she had agreed to wait for him that morning and walk in with him unsuspiciously, without even questioning why. 

If there was one thing he appreciated about her, it was her nonchalant approach to breaking rules. 

She did, however, poke fun at him for his uniform fitting awkwardly tight. Perhaps he had grown a bit. 

Once inside, Jun blended in easily- he was small, a wallflower by nature, the type to go unnoticed by teachers and students alike- though he was careful to avoid anyone who might recognize him and call him out as the kid that got kicked out last year. 

Making his way up several halls and flights of steps, he hesitated outside the door of the guidance counseling office. 

_ What if someone recognized him and kicked him out? _

_ What if it’s the wrong Maruki? _

_ What if he’s someone dangerous? _

A million fears shot through Jun at once, and the determination that had carried him all the way here faded suddenly, before the memory of his mothers voicemail stung for a moment and he bit his lip.

He came here for answers, and he was going to get some.

He pushed open the door and entered.

“Can I do something for you, Jun?” Saeko’s familiar voice rang out to him from the closest administration desk. 

He blinked.

_ What?  _

If she recognized him, then surely...

“You’re a third year, right? You’re wearing the wrong tie, hon.”

He stood there, mouth agape.

“Jun?”

_ Woman, I got kicked out of this school ages ago! _

“Ah- sorry ma’am, I think I have an appointment with, um, Maruki?” Jun lied. 

He wasn’t even sure which honorifics to address him with, how old he was, if he even worked here or what- he simply stood as she gestured towards the office door to her left. 

“He’s new here. A bit of a mess, that guy. Good luck.”

Jun didn’t question Saeko’s obliviousness- everything had been strange enough lately anyway. Instead he thanked her and made his way towards the office door, hesitating once more before knocking.

A clutter of movement and a panicked “Ah- Hah- Come in!” followed, and he slid open the door. 

It was quite a scene before him, in all honesty.

A cramped office space littered with mugs, juice boxes, water bottles, food containers and wrappers,  _ papers, papers everywhere,  _ files shoved in every direction and pouring out of every drawer. And the mysterious man that had plagued his thoughts and fears for several days now was- 

A gangly dude in his twenties, sporting a white lab coat (..?) and glasses that framed his slim, unshaved face, shoving away random objects in random places in a pathetic attempt to clear off his desk. He apologized profusely for the mess, gesturing to the chair across from his and welcoming him awkwardly.

“I’m Dr. Takuto Maruki. I don’t mind if you call me Maruki, though,” he grinned.

Jun really had a lot to process.

He sunk down into the seat anxiously, staring at the man, almost unsure if he had the right Takuto Maruki.

“I’ve been meaning to call you in here, now that you’re enrolled in Sevens again. We have a lot to talk about, you know!” he chuckled. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. How are you? How’s life?”

“Pretty fucked up,” Jun spat.

Maruki smiled. “It’s an adjustment, I’m sure. Do you miss your friends at Kasugayama High?”

Jun glanced up, studying his face. He looked genuine and warm, like he wanted to help. Someone high schoolers could open up to. 

“You... are you the one who did all this?”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“The rumor system, everything, did you- you’re responsible?”

Maruki faltered before Jun continued. “You don’t need to play dumb. I know. I’m a persona user, too.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. But don’t worry about that. I, uh, I want to help you. I enrolled you here again because I thought it would be better for you, your future.”

_ How..?  _

“I don’t care about that. Tell me what you did to- everything. To everyone. Something’s wrong,” Jun demanded, patience running thin. 

“On the contrary,” Maruki began. “Nothing whatsoever is wrong. Isn’t that beautiful?”

“Stop it with the games.”

“There is no game. Not anymore. Everything is ok now, everything is healed. It’s what you and your friends deserve. You fought so hard for this, Jun.”

_ “How?”  _ Jun’s voice trembled. 

“I’m thrilled you asked. I poured lots of research into this, y’know. My persona allows me to warp cognition, so I simply tore the rumor system out of existence by undoing its capabilities from the collective unconscious- well, collective cognition, i guess- of Sumaru City. A pretty basic fix, really, I was shocked no one had tried it.”

_ What?  _

“How can you just- make it stop working?” was the first question amongst a million that Jun managed to get out. 

“Since the only  real reason it works in the first place is because it originates from said collective unconscious,” Maruki explained as though it made perfect sense.

_ Rumors derive their power from the minds of the people who spread them. If he could edit those minds, then... _

“But... there’s more than just the rumor system- Tatsuya- my mother- it’s just  _different_.  I need to know what you did.”

“Well. It’s a little hard to explain. But without the rumors plaguing Sumaru, I could use my persona to grant desires. Fulfill needs. Erase pain. A perfect reality, without suffering.”

_ Grant dreams _

_ Fulfill needs _

_ Erase pain _

For some reason utterly beyond him, Jun almost felt as though he recognized those phrases. Like poetry from something he’d read long ago, or words that came to him in a childhood dream. 

Maruki’s voice was enticing, reassuring. He wanted to believe him, that suffering could end so easily. 

He didn’t need to suffer.

But as tempting as it was, his anger outweighed his selfishness. 

“So you just... changed everything. Everyone, everything, at the tip of your fingers.”

Maruki frowned at that insinuation. “Well, no. I won’t do anything against your will.”

Jun gritted his teeth.

_ “This  _ is against my will,” he hissed.

“Would you rather go back to the previous reality? Fighting tooth and nail for a future youwon’t even have?”

Jun said nothing, puzzled. 

A moment passed as he processed what he was learning, until Maruki spoke up again once more.

“I’ve been researching and testing this for a while and- I wanted to use Sumaru City as a prototype, of sorts. It’s a large population, so I wanted to see how well I could warp things on a large scale.”

“Prototype... for what?”

Maruki smiled that warm, intelligent smile that was starting to get on Jun’s nerves. “The world, of course. Everyone, living in a perfect reality. My dream is to grant humanity’s dreams.”

_ My dream is to grant humanity’s dreams. _

Jun practically vomited. 

He stood up, shaking, barely able to support his own weight. 

“Oh! Leaving so soon? We still need to go over your class enrollments, Jun. Why don’t you email me?” He reached into his pocket and withdrew a white business card, tucking it into Jun’s hands as he snatched it and turned towards the door robotically.

Whatever the hell Saeko said to him on his way out, he didn’t even register it.

Jun’s head was too full of throbbing, screaming thoughts to make out a single sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joker moment >;)


	3. The Collective Unconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jun and anna develop a theory.  
> maruki types like a 10 year old.  
> maya and tatsuya say curse words.

Jun had the misfortune of stumbling out into the Seven Sisters halls just as the bell beckoned the bustling students to their next class, leaving him to navigate the crowd while his head spun in circles.

Warping of collective consciousness.

Creation of a perfect reality.

_ Erasure of all suffering. _

Maruki’s nonchalant demeanor stuck with him more than anything, how cheerfully he explained his ability to simply  edit existence itself.

Everyone around him was a puppet. 

A hollow, cardboard cutout of the real thing.

He held in the urge to scream at the students, to call out to them, demand that they wake up and fight this. The oblivious chatter of his peers felt mocking, how blissfully they were unaware of the strings on their backs being pulled without their consent. 

His senses were so overwhelmed he hardly even noticed his name being called in a familiar deep voice. 

Only did he register it when he felt a hand grab his wrist, gently but still unsettling, and he whipped around to face-

_ Tatsuya. You’re not the real Tatsuya. _

_ Wake up, please. I don’t want this. _

But nothing came out, and as the crowds subsided around them, Jun stood with his mouth open and his wrist in Tatsuya’s grip, staring into those wide, infatuated eyes. 

Jun tugged away but he didn’t let go. 

The last handfuls of stragglers made their way into classrooms and the two stood alone in the hall. 

“Let go of me.”

“What are you doing here?”

Jun supposed, according to Maruki, he attended this school now, but he didn’t exactly care to inform Tatsuya of this, instead staring at him pleadingly.

Tatsuya released his hand, his gaze remaining on the other boy. 

“Come with me. I don’t feel like going to class. Let’s skip together,” Tatsuya was never the type to invest much in his studies, but this was unlike him.

“Please leave me alone...” Jun stepped to the side to walk around him, only for Tatsuya to slide in front of him, backing him into a wall of lockers. 

“C’mon, Jun. Please?” 

The pit in his stomach worsened. This was wrong. 

“Get off me.” Jun elbowed him the chest and ducked around him, walking past without turning back. When he was sure there were no footsteps behind him, he slipped into a stairwell and sunk to the ground. 

He trembled, wanting to run back and shake his friend by the shoulders, snap him out of it. Tell him everything he feels is fake. As much as he wanted to close his eyes and indulge in Tatsuya’s sudden reciprocation, it wasn’t real, and Jun bit his lip as he realized the only people who expressed love for him were just echoes of their true selves. 

It was selfish of him, that he had ever thought otherwise. He hugged his knees like a child, alone with his eyes wide open while everyone else slept peacefully in the night, cradling himself through a terrifying storm. 

And like the helpless child he was, he cried. 

_ My dream is to grant humanity’s dreams. _

A cruel white costume and red lipped grin seeped into Jun’s thoughts and he fought it, remembering when his goal was  _ identical to this mans’ intentions,  _ to end suffering and enlighten the world.

And how did that turn out?

Jun realized why, exactly, he was completely aware of the falsities around him while everyone else slept through. 

He had done this once before.

And he thought, maybe... there was someone who might be immune, too.

Anna Yoshizaka was not exactly the easiest to find. Now that Jun no longer had a phone after receiving that lovely voicemail from his mother, it would be difficult to contact her, on top of that. 

But perhaps he could hunt her down, using the logic of this upside down world.

_ What did Noriko want most...? _

Jun jogged out towards the field track of Seven Sisters High, almost smiling upon seeing his gut feeling had been correct. A class was training, sporting those familiar white jumpers, and among them he recognized a mess of dark hair and a frayed uniform- Anna. 

It seemed Noriko had been granted her desire, as her girlfriend was attending school once more, training with the other third years. Whether or not Anna was aware of the strings being pulled, he needed to know. 

He needed her help. 

“Yoshizaka! Do you have a minute?” Jun called. 

The older girl looked around, slipping away from the group and meeting Jun in the middle of the tracks. “Yeah, we’re just stretching right now. It’s Kurosu, right? What’s up?” A touch more cheerful than usual. 

“I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere more private?”

The two found themselves on the roof of the school, overlooking the world from the clock tower. 

Jun hated it here.

But it was a place where secrets were kept, he supposed.

“Cigarette?” Anna offered him one, slipping it between her own teeth when he shook his head. “Ah, fuck. Usually Tatsuya lends me that lighter of his.” She dug around in her pockets for a moment before fishing out her own lighter. 

Jun tensed at the mention of his name.

“Have you noticed anything odd about him lately?”

“Who? Tacchan? Nah. He’s withdrawn like that all the time.” 

Jun’s heart sank for a moment before a thought occurred to him. 

“Does he talk about me a lot?” He said timidly, not wanting to seem immature. 

“Kurosu, if this is about you and him being-“

“NO! No, no, its not that at all, I promise. It’s something important.” 

Anna withdrew the cigarette from her lips and stared at him for a moment, before facing the skyline again. 

“He talks about you all time. Always has.”

_ Always..? _

“What about Noriko? And the others? Have you noticed anything strange with them?” 

“Well, Yukino is doing good. She doesn’t need me anymore. I started coming here again, since it made Noriko happy... she seems happier in general, too...”

“It’s unnerving, right? Everything is perfect all of the sudden, and no one seems to notice or care?”

Anna blinked. 

“Jun. What’s this about?”

Jun took a breath, unsure if she would even believe him. But she herself had seen everything, the Masked Circle, the battles, they were just kids in a fucked up world of manipulation, being there firsthand together. They never had a close bond, but... they were undeniably connected.

She would understand. 

Slowly, he explained what he knew, and she listened. 

Her face was entirely flat, only expressing thoughts through the occasional puff of smoke. When he finished, she stared at him, unsure of what to say. 

Jun tried to fill the silence. “I just... thought, maybe, since we both were sort of indoctrinated like that before, well- I think we might be exempt, somehow. I don’t know. I’m sorry.” 

“But Junko was a part of the cult, right? She clearly is under his control.” 

He winced at the reminder, but considered it for a moment. “She wasn’t brainwashed the same way we were. She was more willing.”

“So was I,” Anna protested, at which Jun shook his head. 

“Although you had a position of power, you were still under my-  _ Joker’s  _ influence. My mother was... less so. I assume. I’m trying to make sense of this.” 

Anna thought for a moment, both of them puzzled.

“I think...” she began, unsure. “I think I wasn’t entirely immune. I suddenly felt like attending school again, and I wasn’t sure why. I think maybe... this is affecting different people in different ways, based on...”

“Based on if they have been cognitively manipulated before,” Jun finished her thought, as it came together. “It’s like a disease. You can develop a bit of immunity if you’ve been subjected to it in the past, but the extent of the immunity varies.” It made sense. Their minds had stronger resistance. 

Anna snickered. “You certainly have it figured out.” 

“I think I do now, at least. Thank you.” 

The silence between them felt relieving this time.

“...So, you’re trying to undo this whole thing? Why?” She spoke up after a moment.

Jun sighed. He wasn’t sure how to defend his hatred of this utopia. It was just  _wrong_ ,  empty somehow. “Do you really want to live your life controlled by someone else?” 

The indifference in Anna’s eyes hurt for some reason. How little she cared for her own life. “Noriko is happy. I wouldn’t mind if it... stayed peaceful like this.”

“It will,” Jun promised. “I’ll find a way to set things right.” 

Anna nodded. 

“I trust you, Jun.”

Jun stood up, facing the sea that enveloped the city. It stared back, reassuringly. “I just need to find a way to wake the others up. It wont be easy, since they lack the immunity. I think. Then we can face Maruki somehow... I’m not sure. I don’t really know how I’m going to do any of that yet.” 

“Don’t you have his business card?” She gestured to his pockets. “Email him. Get concrete evidence, in his words, what he’s doing. Show it to them.”

Feeling his pockets, the piece of paper was still there, and Jun nodded. “Thank you again, Yoshizaka. I’ll... make sure everything turns out ok. For you and Noriko and- everyone.” He was no hero, but maybe, maybe he could make up for everything this way. Right his wrongs. 

Anna slipped quietly back to class and Jun snuck out from the roof, making the trek back to his apartment before school ended (lest he bump into Tatsuya again.) 

He hardly even bothering looking for something to eat before he began typing something up on his desktop, doing everything in his power to seem polite and not lash out at this man behind the safe distance of the screen. 

17/4/1999

Hello Dr. Maruki,

If you have a moment, I’d like to ask exactly how you manipulate reality and what has been changed. It may make more sense to me in explicit text than over conversation. If you wish, we can discuss new class enrollments later, but this matter is rather pressing to me as I have many questions and few answers. I apologize for the rude urgency, and thank you for your time,

Kurosu Jun

Reading over it, he almost snickered to himself over how easily he could switch on a sweet, coaxing facade. His mouse hovered over the send button for a moment before clicking it. 

All he had to do now was wait.

Hours passed.

Not five minutes would go by without Jun refreshing his inbox, mostly empty with a few college emails and spam messages here and there. 

Not a single one from a Dr. Takuto Maruki.

It was nearing sunset, and Jun was positive the professional response time for emails was supposed to be a mere hour as he desperately refreshed again, cursing himself for breaking his phone as he had Maruki’s work number and could have easily contacted him that way.

Although he supposed that would defeat the purpose of gathering direct evidence that he could show his friends, help them understand they were being controlled and try to snap them out of it. 

Which reminded him.

He sat back at his desk, flipping through a jumble of pages from a notebook- he was  sure  he had written them down somewhere- 

Tatsuya and Maya’s respective emails, which they had exchanged briefly after rescuing him, in case he needed anything. He dug around for Lisa and Michel’s emails to no avail, giving up and deciding they didn’t need to know right away anyway. It might overwhelm them, or perhaps they wouldn’t believe him. 

He trusted Tatsuya and Maya to understand more than the other two, somehow. At least, for now. 

After typing up a brief explanation that he had important information and they needed to meet at his apartment tomorrow, he sent the message and waited once more.

Not a moment passed before his inbox showed a notification. He sighed in relief that Maruki may have finally responded before realizing it was Maya’s quick, affirmative reply. 

He almost thought it was odd how efficient and organized she seemed lately before remembering she was just a puppet in someone else’s hands. 

Tatsuya replied uncharacteristically fast as well, an oddly enthusiastic confirmation that he would meet him tomorrow. 

And back to waiting.

Jun was beginning to fear he might not respond in time for them to see as the next day arrived with nothing nearly the whole morning until around noon. 

His hunger was once again starting to get the better of him and it occurred to him to take advantage of Tatsuya’s sudden crush and ask him to take him to lunch- but more than he wanted to eat, he wanted him to see that those feelings didnt exist in actuality. They had been carved in a pathetic attempt to bring him happiness.

And with that reminder he refreshed his email once more -

18/4/1999

Hi Jun!!! ( ﾉ ◕ ヮ ◕ ) ﾉ *: ･ﾟ ✧ Thanks 4 reaching out :3 it’s not super complicated but sorry if this doesnt make sense LOL!!

Basically I use my persona to edit what people perceive and therefore feel and do!!! 

\ (• ◡ •) /

Within every mass of people, like a city, for example, theres a collective unconscious of the populace which can be altered using this method!!!!! :D Interesting right?!?!? 

I started my research in Tokyo a few years ago and tapped into the Tokyo collective unconscious called MEMENTOS LOL!!!! 

Super freaky =O but kind of RLY NEAT. There I figured out I could grant desires with this method and make everyone happy!!!!! I wanted to try it with Sumaru City because of your weird rumor system ( ಥ ﹏ ಥ )

I thought maybe I could help so i tapped into Styx, which is the collective unconscious of Sumaru and it was totally WAY DIFFERENT than Mementos....... I think the weird rumors and stuff warped it. But I fixed that!!! :) Also I wanted to ask:

How are you self aware ???? I dont think Ive had that happen before yet!! AND???

Did you like what I did with Tatsuya and your mom?? I figured you’d be happy if people loved you more hahahaha!! LOL!! I can change it back or edit it if you don’t like it. I’d be happy to dial Tatsuya down a few notches if you want, hes pretty obsessed!!!!

I thought about giving him to Lisa instead, but I figured he’d be happier with you anyway.

( づ｡ ◕ ‿‿ ◕ ｡ ) づ ok good talk email me if you have more questions XD

BYE 

-TAKUTO MARUKI ;0

Jun’s jaw quite literally hung open reading that gargled nonsense. 

It seemed with each answer Maruki gave, a dozen more questions sprung up,  _ Mementos, Styx, cognition editing..? _

_ Self aware? _

It occurred to Jun that if he had not explained things to Anna, he might be the only one conscious of everything around him being so terribly wrong. 

But more than that he fixated on the last paragraph.

Maruki quite literally had fabricated any feelings Tatsuya had for him and any affection his mother felt towards him. Flat out affirmed that any love anyone felt for him was entirely made up, a figment of this imaginary world. 

But he didn’t have time to pity himself.

He was angry. 

Maya arrived first, awkwardly sitting on the floor of Jun’s bedroom and trying to make small talk until Tatsuya knocked on his door a few minutes after.

He looked a bit grim, no doubt nervous for whatever news Jun was about to bear, but his expression softened upon seeing him.

The smile he flashed felt hollow. 

Avoiding eye contact, Jun shuffled back into his bedroom as Tatsuya followed, almost disappointed when he realized Maya had gotten there first. Jun shook it off, and the two looked at him expectantly as he realized-

How on earth was he going to sit here and explain to them that everything they were living was fake? Anna took it just fine, no doubt due to their theory of “resistance” but... had these two ever been cognitively manipulated the way he had? 

Would they even be capable of waking up?

“Um. I need to tell you both something important,” his voice cracked. 

They looked at him curiously. 

He swallowed. 

“I met Maruki. He’s not, well, he’s not exactly who he says he is. I have some emails, to prove it, I suppose, it’s hard to explain but p-please- try to understand that this is very serious.”

Maya nodded, listening attentively while Tatsuya furrowed his brow. “Takuto Maruki, that was his name, right? The one- uh, responsible for this stuff- I thought he was a guidance counselor at Sevens..?” He looked as though he were struggling to make sense of this. 

Jun’s computer was already up and running, so he merely gestured for them to come look at the rather childish mess of an email themselves. He guessed that, as a counselor, it was his job to attempt to connect with teenagers, and this was his ridiculous way of doing it.

Maya giggled in spite of herself, but quickly fell flat upon examining the contents of the message. Both glared at the screen, hunched over the desktop for several minutes while Jun bit his nails and waited.

Tatsuya was the first to turn around to face him, his face drained of color. 

“I knew- I felt-“ he was barely audible, hardly managing another word before Maya whipped around. “What the hell is this?” She seemed more shocked than angry, but the demanding tone of her voice scared the boys. 

“I don’t know another way to explain it,” Jun admitted.

“Try.”

“All I know is that he eradicated the rumor system using his persona- somehow- and then he tried to grant everyone’s desires like- like-  _ Joker  _ and everyone is living a mindless utopia, and we need to fix it and-“ Jun gasped, out of breath and near shaking as he watched Maya begin to pace and mumble to herself. 

He exchanged an anxious look with Tatsuya before something clicked in his brain. 

“I think we need to find the place he was talking about.”

“The collective unconscious? Like, where Philemon... y’know...” Tatsuya trailed off, his usual authoritative tone gone. Jun shook his head. 

“The Sumaru collective unconscious, specifically. He called it Styx. We need to figure out what he did there and find a way to reverse it.”

“WHY?” Maya suddenly spoke up, panicked and grasping at her hair. “We fought... we fought  so damn hard...  why can’t we just have this...” The woman sunk to the ground and hugged her knees, trembling still. “Dad... I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “There’s no way this was all fake. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

It scared the boys to see her in such an inconsolable state and they found themselves with locked gazes once more. Awkwardness of their situation aside, Maya took priority, to the both of them. They scooted over towards her, taking a seat on either side of the older woman. Jun wrapped an arm around her shoulder while Tatsuya hesitantly leaned on her, taking his lighter in the other hand.

Jun watched as he traced smooth circles on its surface, delicate and slow.

Like a heartbeat. 

Maya’s breathing began to calm and her murmurs into her knees subsided within a few minutes, as she wrapped both arms around her younger counterparts, pressing all three foreheads together. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she choked. “I thought it would be... too good to be true.” 

Tatsuya looked away at those words, shoving his lighter back in his pocket. “I felt it, too. Just a little bit, uh, deep down. That this was wrong. Of course we can’t fucking be happy. Just have peace. There’s always something,  fucking something,  I- he talked about _editing_ me, like I’m just a- a toy-“

He looked back up at Jun.

“I’m sorry. For how I acted. That was fucking weird and I- um, I’m sorry.” 

Maya looked quizzically at them before she came to an understanding and stood up as the other two did the same. 

“Look, I know this is hard. We might have to keep fighting and let go of some things but- we cant keep being under someone else’s thumb. Please. Fight with me.” Jun needed this, he couldn’t watch them be compliant with this twisted utopia, he couldn’t-

“Why not, Jun? Why not just let him do what he thinks will make us happy and just... live?” Maya breathed. “I mean, the three of us know its not real and that’s all that matters. If everyone else can keep being blissfully ignorant and  safe,  then I don’t care what he does.  I don’t... wanna fight anymore. I’m sorry Jun.”

Jun’s world fell apart at the seams with those words. These two people he relied on most than anyone else in the world, he  needed  them _both_ , he needed Maya.

He felt pathetic tears burn at the back of his eyelids again. 

“Didn’t you read the email?” Jun pleaded. “You’re being controlled... everyone is, and it’s not right,  please...” 

It occurred to him that it might take more convincing to snap her out of it. 

“Come over here again,” he beckoned, and the two followed back towards the computer, gazing at the screen. 

Jun was about to pull up Maruki’s contact information and call him, so they could hear in his own words what was happening to them, before he noticed a desktop icon he was sure had not been there before.

It’s radiated red light off the dim artificial screen, a symbol of a flowing river glistening in hues that made it resemble blood. 

The icon was unlabeled, and must have drawn the same attention from Tatsuya and Maya, as they both stared as well. Jun hovered his mouse over it cautiously, and the pop up box barely made out the word  STYX in English letters. 

“What is that?” Maya was leaning in a little close for comfort.

“it’s glowing,” Tatsuya added as he did the same. Maya reached for Jun’s mouse to click on it before Jun pushed her hand away. “I don’t think we should. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” 

“It might be a website or something that could give us answers.” 

“I thought you didn’t care and just wanted to stay in this fake reality?” 

Maya shrugged. “I still have a lot of questions.”

Jun flicked his gaze back to the screen, and he could’ve sworn the crimson glow was sucking him into the screen. 

Well.

If it might convince them to fight back, he might as well see what the hell it is.

He clicked the mysterious icon, and-

_ A radiant swirl of reds and ambers consumed their vision, pulling them in every direction, drowning, drowning, drowning in the River of Styx, water filled their lungs and everything went dark. _

_ The familiar pained groans of shadows and demons lurked and they called to each other, stumbling in darkness, hands flailing and reaching out, grasping onto random limbs, clothes heavy with a liquid that felt thicker then water. _

_ An eternity passed before they readjusted their eyes. _

_ They had entered Styx.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonder what styx represents


	4. The River of Styx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tatsuya and jun are fast.
> 
> maya is not.

The ringing in Jun’s ears throbbed and he could barely make out his surroundings. Water- _no, something else-_ flowed beneath them, up to his knees. He waded through it, hands outstretched. 

“T-Tatsuya..? Tatsuya? Maya?” 

_“Jun?!_ Jun, where are you?” Tatsuya’s voice cried. 

“Tatsuya! I’m ok, I can’t see you...” 

He stumbled in the direction of his voice and felt himself smack into Tatsuya’s chest, quickly grasping onto him. “I’m right here,” the taller boy choked, wrapping a weak arm around Jun. “Where’s Maya?!” 

“MAYA?!” the boys called, blind and alone. 

Sputtering and gasping replied just a few feet away. “Jun! Tatsuya, I’m right h- here, _where are you?!”_ There must have still been liquid in her lungs, as she coughed and hacked between each word, hardly able to make a sound. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming...” Tatsuya sounded like he might cry any second now, afraid and clutching onto Jun while they tried to follow the sound of the woman’s voice. 

Jun tripped over a weight below his feet and realized Maya was struggling to lift herself from the current. He had nearly stepped on her. “She’s right here, Tatsuya, she needs help!” The two dropped immediately and each took an arm over their shoulders, hoisting her up and trying to find a shore. 

“There,” Tatsuya stammered, out of breath. Jun turned and spotted a bit of light ahead of them, reflecting off what looked like a river bank of broken glass. 

Maya was heavy, cold, and no breath drew from her body. Tatsuya had laid down his jacket to avoid her touching the glass shards while Jun held her head and tried to sense a pulse. 

“Anything?” Tatsuya demanded frantically. 

“...Yes! Yes, I think so... she’s alive.” 

A sob of relief escaped both boys as they knelt beside her. She began to cough and gasp, trying to sit up as she regained consciousness. “What happened... where are we..? What... is- what is this?” She looked down at herself, covered in a thick red substance. “Am I bleeding? Are we dead?!” 

Jun felt his own clothes, realizing he was equally drenched. They could see slightly better now, and sure enough all three were covered in- 

“I don’t think this is our blood,” Tatsuya mumbled. “And we’re definitely still alive.” 

“The river...” Jun looked up, taking in the atmosphere that felt wrong to breathe in. 

“I think it’s blood. And this bank, it’s made of broken glass. The air is sharp to breathe and- and it’s hard to see anything. This place wasn’t made for humans.” 

Tatsuya nodded, helping Maya up to her feet and tying his jacket around his waist. “This must be... Styx.” 

The collective unconscious of Sumaru City. 

Their eyes finally adjusted, and what surrounded them was cavernous. The air seemed to breathe, the ground seemed to pulse, the river seemed to cry. Jun bent down and ran a hand through the bloody current, listening. The pained whispers and groans of thousands of souls practically emanated from it, sending a shudder through his spine. 

This place was alive. 

“Look,” Tatsuya tapped on his shoulder, and he stood up, craning his neck. 

The river split off in a dozen tiny streams, stretching over the abyss like smaller veins flowing from the main artery. 

“It’s like... a circulatory system,” Maya observed, voice still weak. 

The dim red and black hues made it exceptionally difficult to make out much more, but Styx seemed to be littered with structures of broken glass, and- _utterly crawling_ with the sounds of prowling demons. 

It dawned on them that they were completely unprepared to survive here. 

“ _Damnit,_ I- I don’t have my katana,” Tatsuya cursed under his breath. 

“I’m weaponless, too. But we should have our personas, right?” Maya seemed like she was trying to reassure herself rather than them. “I think- I can still feel Artemis.” 

Tatsuya nodded, and Jun himself could tell that Tatsuya’s persona was intact. Apollo and Chronos, being intertwined by their promise and bond, each allowed the other’s user to sense their personas. 

But... Chronos... 

Tatsuya must have realized it at the same time Jun did, as he faced him and they locked fearful gazes. 

_Something’s_ _wrong._

_I know, I can sense it too._

_I_ _can’t_ _feel Chronos._

_Neither can I._

Maya stared at them. “Hello?” Jun remembered to speak aloud, and broke eye contact with Tatsuya to face her. “Chronos isn’t with me. I don’t know why.” 

Before she could respond, Tatsuya cut them both off. “We can figure it out later, but right now we need to get out of the open.” He gestured towards a crumbling glass structure near them resembling a temple, and the other two nodded. He was right- creatures they’d never seen or fought before were just yards away, and they were quite literally in open enemy territory. 

No sooner did they begin to make their way towards it than did someone- _something_ lunge at Jun with a hiss, and he cried out as he felt claws pierce his back, dragging down his flesh. 

He yelled for his persona out of instinct, but no miraculous flash of light came to his rescue. 

Nothing. 

His senses fell hazy as he heard Tatsuya call for Apollo, and the brilliant nuclear blasts that followed his will. 

The claws in his back released and Jun crumpled to the ground, holding onto consciousness like a thin string. 

_“DIA!”_ Maya commanded, and the pain eased as her healing spell enveloped his body. The cuts still stung, and would leave scars, no doubt, but he did his best to flash her a grateful look as she rushed to his side. 

“C’mon, go head for cover!” Tatsuya held off another attack while Jun and Maya retreated towards the crumbling temple. “Typical self-sacrificing Leo,” Jun mumbled into Maya’s arm as they supported each other, as both were still regaining their strength. 

Only when they had safely ducked behind the temple walls did Tatsuya catch up with them, out of breath and sporting several cuts on his face. 

Maya healed them to the best of her ability, but it was obvious that healing Jun’s deep wounds had drained her. “I’m sorry,” she breathed, holding his face and examining the damage. 

“I’m fine. Jun, are you ok? Are either of you hurt?” Tatsuya leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes in relief when they both shook their heads, letting out a pained sigh. “I’ve never seen anything like that before.” 

“We need to get out of here, as soon as possible. This is no place for either of you kids,” Maya sounded more commanding than usual. She always did when they were in danger. 

“We’re not kids anymore,” Jun pleaded. “I need answers, and we need to fight if were going to undo this reality.” 

“Jun... we talked about this... I don’t want to go back to the way things were, I- _we_ are finally safe, and-“ 

“No.” 

Both turned to Tatsuya, who rarely spoke up like that. 

“Jun is right. You read the email... the way he talked about me. Deciding whether I would be with Lisa or- or Jun, like a little kid playing with dolls. Maruki is fucking _delusional_ , he- I don’t’ wanna be his puppet. Please.” 

Silence fell between them as the gravity of what this man was capable of set in. 

Maya looked away, and Jun held back the urge to snap at her for her selfish indecision. 

“If we set things back to the way they were,” she said quietly. “Even if we find a way to keep the rumor system and Nyarlathotep from returning... my dad will be gone. Hundreds, maybe thousands of peoples revived loved ones will be gone again, without explanation.” 

Oh. 

_Oh._

Jun opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and anything he could’ve said would sound apathetic and inconsiderate. 

So once again, they fell silent. 

The air was getting harder to breathe. They were soaked in a mix of their blood and the river’s, and still weak from the attacks. 

They couldn’t stay here much longer, no matter how desperate Jun was. 

“Right now we need to focus on finding a way out.” 

Tatsuya and Maya exchanged a weary glance, then nodded. Jun crouched near the edge of the structure’s safety, peering inwards of the hellish wasteland and they followed. It’s layout was more clear, from this view; the main river flowed straight through the middle and split off into thin streams spread throughout. In the center of the river, however, was something he had not yet noticed. 

In fact upon examination, it looked utterly out of place. 

A western style manor surrounded by a thick crimson moat and tall black fencing loomed at the very center. It looked new and beautiful, contrasting the decay all around them. 

“Do you guys see that?” Maya whispered. 

“Yeah...” Tatsuya gestured towards it. “The demons are avoiding it.” 

He was right. Creatures roamed in every direction except for the mansion, standing like a beacon in the dead middle. 

“If they don’t wanna be near it, then... it might be deadly, or worse,” Maya looked back towards the boys with eyes full of fear. 

“We don’t have a lot of other options. Unless you wanna try sitting around and getting killed anyway,” The other two blinked in surprise at Jun’s impatient tone. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I just think we should try to see what it is.” 

Tatsuya stood up slowly. “We’re weaponless and weak, so let’s just make a break for it.”

Jun nodded. He wasn’t strong, but he could run fast, a result of being chased by bullies throughout most of his school life. 

Before Maya could protest, they took off. 

Jun sprinted across the uneven ground, Tatsuya just ahead of him, and Maya, just behind, eyes trained on the manor ahead. The closer they got, the bigger it seemed, overshadowing everything around it like a ruler over its subjects. 

Ten seconds passed. 

Twenty. 

Thirty. 

It occurred to him that he could no longer hear Maya’s footsteps behind him. 

“Tatsuya! Tatsuya, stop, stop! Wait!” The other boy turned and gasped, diving at Jun with full force and slamming him into the ground before he could register what was happening. Crushed by Tatsuya’s weight, he gasped, before a sickening scream broke out- 

_Tatsuya’s scream,_

and ugly cry escaped Jun’s own mouth as he realized why. 

Something demonic had pierced Tatsuya straight through the middle, clean through him and directly into Jun’s own stomach as they laid crushed together, speared bodies intertwined. 

Surely he was dying, he felt nothing, everything felt like nothing and everything crumbled and 

When Jun’s eyes shot open, Tatsuya was still on top of him, clutching him like a lifeline. 

The bleeding had somehow subsided, but his stomach throbbed in pain. “Tatsuya... get off me... it hurts.” 

Only when the heavy weight rolled off of him did he adjust his senses to- 

his bedroom. 

They were laying on the matted gray floor. 

_How did they...?_

_Was that even real?_

Jun lifted his shirt. An ugly, blistered scar greeted him where a deep wound was just moments ago. It was still red and raw, but scar tissue should not have formed that quickly. 

He glanced up at Tatsuya, who was examining his own scarred body. “It still hurts,” he muttered. 

Maya... 

_Where’s_ _Maya..?_

Jun tried to stand up, stumbling towards his mattress as he regained stability. “Maya?” 

Tatsuya’s eyes widened. “MAYA?” They both scrambled out of the bedroom looking for her, finding nothing. 

“Fuck, fuck, she’s not still in that hellscape, is she?!” 

“My phone is broken, Tatsuya, use yours, try to call her, she- she might be somewhere else or-“ Jun shook his head. 

Tatsuya was already dialing her on his clunky handheld cell which, miraculously, was still intact. 

Three torturously long rings passed before another voice answered. “Tatsuya? I’m ok, I’m ok. I woke up in my apartment. Are you both safe? Is Jun there?” 

Jun leaned towards the phone. “I’m here, we’re ok. Are you wounded? What happened?” 

“Well, I fell behind you guys, since I’m not as fast and- and- I’m not sure what, but something attacked me and before I could call out to you, I passed out. Honestly, it... happened so fast... it felt like what I imagined dying to feel like.” 

“It was scary,” she finished quietly. 

“The same thing happened to us. I think we were attacked by the same thing... whatever the hell it was... it lunged and me and Jun and- speared us into the ground. I saw it before he did, tried to knock him out of the way, but...” 

“I was sure it was fatal but... it’s nothing but scars, now,” Jun added. 

“Mine too,” Maya breathed in relief. “I’m glad you’re both safe. Please take care of yourselves and try- at least try to rest, ok? We can talk more tomorrow.” 

The boys agreed, and wished her goodnight. Jun paced back into his bedroom as Tatsuya followed awkwardly. “Aren’t you going home? I think your motorcycle is still here,” Jun tried to ask without seeming rude. 

“Actually, I- I wanted to talk to you. If that’s... ok.” 

Jun swallowed. 

Right. 

They couldn’t exactly ignore the past few days, could they? 

The scars on his back and stomach ached and he reached up to touch the place where he had been speared in the middle just moments ago. 

Then he glanced back at Tatsuya, who looked equally pained. 

“...Ok. Give me a second.” Jun turned towards his bathroom and returned with a small first aid kit he kept tucked in the medicine cabinet. 

The two kneeled across from each other. “This way we can, um, patch ourselves up while we talk. If you’re comfortable with it, I think we both need it.” 

Tatsuya said nothing, reaching for a wad of gauze from the box and lifting it to Jun’s slightly battered face. “Oh, um, I meant we can just... y’know. Take care of ourselves.” Jun leaned back a bit. Normally, he never refused his touch, but he was still... uneasy. Almost nervous, that Tatsuya was still somehow under someone else’s control, only being soft with him because Jun _wanted_ him to. 

It was hard to distinguish what was real from what was a part of the twisted dream. 

“Sorry,” the other boy mumbled, cheeks slightly red. 

Another few minutes passed as they sat, awkwardly applying ointments and bandages to the raw scars as Jun murmured something about how they should still be bleeding. 

“I think... whatever injuries we suffer in Styx, appear as bad scars and bruises in the real world.” Tatsuya offered. 

That made sense, somehow, but a dozen more questions and fears still plagued him. 

Jun looked up to respond, and they held each other’s gaze. 

_I still_ _can’t_ _sense Chronos._

_Neither can I._

_I’m s_ _cared._

_We’ll_ _figure it out._

Once again remembering to speak aloud, Jun stammered a bit. “L-Look, I know it’s not your fault but this is- it’s weird for me. I’m sorry that’s how... you had to find out. About how I feel.” 

Surely Tatsuya had pieced it together by now. If, in a perfect world, he pursued Jun, then that must have meant that Jun had wanted that. He must have realized, how Jun felt about him, if one of Jun’s desires that was granted was- well, Tatsuya. 

Somehow, eye contact alone conveyed what Jun was trying to say yet again, and Tatsuya just shook his head. “It’s ok. I just- I don’t want you to feel like...” He trailed off. 

Tatsuya was never one for words. Spoken words, anyway. 

_I_ _don’t_ _want you feel like everything was fake._

_But it was, wasn’t it?_

_Not everything._

Jun flicked his eyes away. “Please... you don’t need to try to make me feel better.” 

Tatsuya opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and he looked away too, focusing instead on wrapping the wounds on his bare stomach. 

Jun observed, when he was hunched over like that, small folds formed in his skin where his abdomen was usually flat. 

A little bit of vulnerable, soft skin. 

He almost smiled a bit, before feeling invasive for staring and averting his attention to his own gashes. 

Reaching up his back, he fumbled with the bandages a bit, cursing under his breath as he tried to stick some in place without being able to see. 

“Do you need help?” 

Jun winced. “I’m fine.” 

“Jun... I won’t press. I won’t make you do anything or... be weird, I guess. But I can, um, I can tell you’re still a little scared. Of me. And- I don’t want that.” 

It was Jun’s turn to find no words on his tongue. 

If Tatsuya was still under Maruki’s control, he wouldn’t be so anxious, yet so gentle. 

He was himself. 

Hesitantly, Jun turned around so his back was facing him, and held his breath as Tatsuya tugged at his shirt. “Just... lift it up,” Jun muttered. 

Tatsuya obliged, and began applying thin bandages to the cuts, as neatly as possible. Meticulous, shaking hands poured over his skin carefully, as though Jun were made of glass. 

It was uncomfortable and endearing all at once. 

Jun closed his eyes and absorbed the touch, trying to stay still as Tatsuya’s worn hands trailed over him, almost protectively. 

Only when he felt his shirt drop back down did he turn around again. 

_Thank you._

_Of course._

_Always._

Their habit of wordless conversations was one that had been natural, even when they were children, glances and gestures conveyed everything. 

Even now, when there was a tense distance. 

“I mean it,” Tatsuya mumbled. “I’m pretty sure... Maruki just changed me to be- y'know. Like that. He didn’t edit me to feel certain way about you. That was already there.” 

Jun fumbled with the first aid kit, rolling up excess gauze and trying to organize everything back into place, to distract himself. 

“Jun.” 

He wanted to believe Tatsuya, more than anything. 

“You said something, about the Taurus temple, the other day at the park. You said I didn’t need to pretend to like you, or- something.” 

He knew it was real, he knew this time it was real, but- still, he was scared. 

Scared of trusting that anyone really loved him. 

"I wasn't under anyone's control but my own. When I told Lisa how I felt, really. It's always been that way."

Jun remembered Anna's words, that he always had talked about him.

He remembered Tatsuya's words, at the temple, when he stood before Lisa and admitted he only felt that way for Jun, and she had grimaced.

He remembered the nervous flush on his face when he had said it.

"It's hard to trust the truth in this reality." Jun whispered, and Tatsuya's face fell. "But if it's you...

"It'll always get easier."

When their eyes met once again, they said nothing. 

Somehow, Tatsuya’s eyes felt full of something they lacked before. 

Something so real, tangible, like Jun could reach out and touch his face. 

He didn’t. 

He wanted to. 

But Maya was right.

They needed to rest, and Tatsuya needed to go home. 

Tatsuya rose and Jun followed, wordlessly making their way to the door. 

“Thank you.” He didn’t need to say it aloud, but Jun could tell he wanted to, and sometimes, it felt right. 

“Of course.” 

“I should be going now,” he shuffled his feet. 

Jun nodded. Nothing else needed to be said between them, even it felt awkward, and Jun watched from his sixth floor window as a motorcycle trailed away from the parking lot moments later. 

When he returned to his bedroom, Tatsuya’s tattered, blood stained jacket was strewn on the floor still. He picked it up gingerly, cautious of any glass shards that may have been lodged in it still, and promised himself he would wash it tomorrow. 

But for now, he clutched it for a second before draping it over his desk chair. 

The computer’s smudged screen loomed in front of him. 

Jun stared back, a new determination inside of him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fellas is it gay to have a bond with your bro beyond words or even touch
> 
> also yes they did die for a second there but were gonna get to that next chapter WHICH IM SUPER EXCITED FOR


	5. The Butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time Philemon decides to give little unprompted visits, Tatsuya wakes up next to Jun for some reason, and he’s starting to think Phil’s trying to tell him something. But that’s besides the point, probably. In the meantime, they have a guidance counselor to beef with.

Jun woke on a surface he was absolutely positive was not his bed. 

Rather, cold black and white tiles. 

Gold pillars.

The endless cavern on all sides of him.

Jun sighed, easing himself to his feet. Philemon’s domain in the Boundary greeted him- whether it held answers or even more questions, Jun was unsure.

Did Philemon summon them without warning often...?

Because if so, it’s a little irritating.

The god cleared his throat, passively beckoning for Jun’s attention as he turned to face him, his golden mask deflecting any signs of emotion one might sense from him. 

Only now did he realize they were not alone, as Tatsuya and Maya rose to their feet beside him, equally as dazed and pensive. 

Philemon stood motionless between all three, staring at Jun. It occurred to him that his chest and face were always utterly still. It made sense, for a divine entity to lack the need for breathing through a respiratory system, yet it unsettled him, reminded him that he was in the court of powers he would never understand.

_ I apologize, again, for the untimely visit. Although I can assure you all are sleeping soundly in the real world right now. Communication through dreams happens to be a bit easier. _

Maya, as usual, was the first to speak. “Philemon- we’ve learned more about Maruki. He isn’t who he says he is,” she bowed her head and spoke in an uncharacteristically small voice. Intimidated, almost, in his presence.

_ I assure you, I’m aware. I sensed your journey to Styx. It was rather intriguing, but try to be more careful next time. It’s a hassle, resurrecting every hero who throws themselves into a reckless battle. I’m not Igor, you know.  _

Jun blinked. So they really had...  died. 

“Is there a way for us to leave without dying?” A genuine question, really.

_I will always bring you back to the physical reality when needed_. 

Vague as usual.

_I plan to watch over you with utmost interest, should you return to Styx. But please, guard yourselves. As you observed, it’s... not meant for humans. Metaphorical spaces of existence tend not to be._

Jun quickly grew tired of Philemon’s intentional way of dancing around the point for the sake of seeming mysterious. “What else do you know?”

The god continued to wordlessly speak.

_Styx, like all collective unconsciouses, is an extension of the Boundary. My domain. There are thousands, perhaps millions of collective unconsciouses, each one it’s own crawling hellscpae of souls. The one that belongs to your city is deeply corrupted, riddled with disease and demons from the rumors that once plagued it._

_ I have watched over Takuto Maruki and seen for myself how he taps into it, warping the unconscious, eradicating all he deems evil. Nyarlathotep draws his power from such evils, and thus without it, he is reduced to a form which cannot harm you.  _

_ The Crawling Chaos cannot exist as long as Maruki’s Sustained Order exists. _

Sustained order.

Maruki’s twisted little doll game. 

“And what if... we get rid of that order?” Tatsuya’s hesitant, slow words pierced the brief silence.

_I cannot tell you at the moment. I do not see it wise, regardless. I fear the return of the evils which you fought before. _

It seemed Philemon lacked answers.

Jun gritted his teeth. Everyone was against him. “I won’t accept that. I’d rather spill enemy blood than live in a sick utopia like this. There- there has to be a way.”

Philemon’s completely unbreathing posture and unblinking face sent chills down his spine once more. He silently pleaded with him, hoping his desperation would reach him through the ethereal mask. 

_ You’re getting ahead of yourself. You cannot fight demons nor guidance counselors without a persona. _

Oh. 

Right.

Suddenly, he was reminded of the gaping hole in his chest which had ached since he first awoke in this reality. Something lacking, an missing piece where Chronos was supposed to be. 

Technically, he’d only awakened Chronos a few weeks prior in the first place, but he knew it had always been there. A bit of warm light dormant inside a cavern of anger.

“How do I... What’s wrong with me, Philemon? How do I-“

_Those who possess shadows cannot wield personas._

“Shadows...” Tatsuya mumbled, shuffling his feet. “Like those things we fought at the temples?”

“Those are- those are gone right?” A slight panic in Maya’s voice struck Jun with guilt for involving her in this.

Philemon looked conflicted, as though unsure how to phrase the answer.

A moment passed. 

Jun bit his lip.

_ Shadows are... twisted reflections of the self... they tell you things you know but do not wish to hear. They exist everywhere. Yours exists... in the heart of Styx.  _

The heart..?

The rivers that flow with blood like veins in a circulatory system... the rivers that flow from-

“The manor.”

_ Indeed. _

“What is that place? Why do demons avoid it?” Jun demanded, head spinning with anger and dozens of questions. “How can I possibly have a shadow if those existed solely because of rumors?”

The god waved his hand as though it ought to be obvious. 

_ There are two types of shadows. Manufactured shadows, generated from outside force, and organic shadows, born from oneself inside the collective unconscious.  _

_ Both reflect the hidden nature. Manufactured shadows possess eyes that gleam red with the malice of the enemy, while organic ones have golden eyes, shining with the truth of the soul.  _

_ The shadows you fought were creations of Nyarlathotep and the rumors. ..  manufactured from a malicious external force. Your shadow exists, simply, because of you. Internal hatred, anger, fear... things you wish to hide.  _

“More than one type of shadow,” Tatsuya repeated quietly, as though trying to make sense of it. 

Jun took a moment to process it himself, reasoning that if his own shadow could not have been manufactured, then it was organically born from himself... and according to Philemon, his repressed feelings. 

“I have nothing hidden,” Jun protested. Anger and fear plagued him each waking day, that much was certain, but nothing did he bury beneath the surface, and definitely nothing enough to generate a shadow, right?

_ You don’t particularly sound sure of yourself, Jun Kurosu. _

The god followed that remark with a condescending chuckle that echoed uncomfortably. 

_ I’ll send you back for now. You three know what you must do. Restore Chronos, and confront he who bends cognition to his will. I do not recommend you attempt to defeat his sustained order, lest his utopia cease to exist and the evils take it’s place once more. But that is your choice to make. I trust you’ll pursue the right future.  _

Maya nodded. “We understand.” 

The boys said nothing, exchanging glances laced with words not even Philemon could decipher. 

No sooner did Jun open his eyes than did his paper white ceiling greet him once more. 

His mattress felt heavier, an awkward weight to it that shifted his balance as he sat up and readjusted his senses. 

A low, exasperated groan startled him nearly to death as he turned to face its source- Tatsuya, sprawled face down on the other side of his bed, practically falling off. Jun jumped out of his bed like a cat, blinking a few times in disbelief. 

Slowly, the other boy came to, glancing around and seeming nowhere near as unnerved at the sudden relocation. 

Tatsuya mumbled something Jun couldn’t quite make out as he sat up, eyes widening as they met each other’s gaze. 

They stared for a rather perplexed moment before Jun remembered he’d left his Seven’s jacket here the day before and scrambled towards his desk to retrieve it. 

“Here. You, ah, left this behind yesterday... I didn’t get the chance to wash it, I apologize, it’s still sort of covered in, y’know... blood. I’m sorry. I don’t know why you’re here.”

Tatsuya took the jacket and shrugged, tying it around his waist. 

“Do you usually wake up in random people’s beds after Philemon’s little visits?”

The other boy stifled a laugh. “This is the second time it’s happened.”

“Do you think he’s trying to tell us something?”

“I think he’s stirring shit up out of boredom.” Both of them giggled for a moment before an uncomfortable silence followed. 

“I wanted to ask a favor,” Tatsuya added quietly. “Can we email Maruki back? He referred to me like I was... a doll he could flip a switch on. I need to know how, why, what’s wrong with me... I just need to talk to him.”

Jun grimaced and glanced towards his computer, its glossy black screen beckoning them. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s his sick god complex and persona abilities that let him use us like toys.” 

A beat passed. Tatsuya wordlessly asked again. 

Jun sighed and moved towards the computer, taking the seat in the tiny chair while Tatsuya leaned over his shoulder from behind him. He held his breath as it booted up. 

“It’s still there.” The little red icon stared at them, shimmering light pouring from the pixels on the screen in a way that shouldn’t have been possible. 

Some sort of gateway to Styx. 

“We’ll figure this out,” Tatsuya tried to assure after a moment of silence. 

Jun nodded, opening the email application, and Tatsuya leaned towards the screen close enough that his chest touched Jun’s back and shoulders a bit. 

Just by leaning over Jun while he sat, Tatsuya was practically enveloping his small frame. It made him feel small, how the taller boy’s body towered over his.

Not necessarily in a bad way. 

But small nonetheless. 

“Look.”

Snapping his head back up, Tatsuya had his finger pushed up against to the screen, gesturing to a new message in his inbox from an apparent Takuto Maruki. 

The subject line simply read “Lunch.” 

Jun swallowed. 

“I don’t recall emailing him back since... you know.”

“Just click on it,” Tatsuya mumbled, a touch of anxiety in his tone that bit through his usual calm projection. 

The email was just as much an immature jumble as the previous one had been. 

18/4/1999

Hi Jun :3 !!!!! XD how Are classes? (  ๑ > ᴗ < ๑ ) JK because we haven’t enrolled you in any yet since I pulled strings to transfer you back to Sevens (it’s what you deserve ฅ • ˑ̫ • ̳͒ ฅ !!! ) that way you can be with Tatsuya too ;) How’s that goingBTw???? I don’t sense him on my radar anymore If that makes sense. He might’ve “woken up” so to speak hehe. I’m still experimenting with how that works. My research is far from complete <(-_-)>

ANY way :) we have much to discuss so let’s meet for lunch! Usually a student and teacher meet up would be strange but don’t think of me as as teacher <3 think of me as a super awesome Friend!!!! :3

Do you like Johnny Rodger’s, Jun? Out in the Seaside Mall??? We can meet Sunday afternoon. Looking forward to it XO

~Your Friend Maruki (=^v^=)

“Sunday. That’s today...” Tatsuya spoke up after a moment. 

“You can  _ read  _ any of that?” Jun groaned, leaning back. 

“If we want to try to negotiate or just figure out a way we can end this... I think we should go. He said afternoon. It’s almost noon right now,” He glanced at his watch.

Jun tried to sort out answers while staring at the email. It felt mocking. 

“He won’t negotiate.”

“Then we’ll ask questions. Figure out a weakness or something.” 

A weakness. 

Tatsuya had a point. 

There had to be some chink in the armor that could let his utopia come crashing down. 

“An achilles heel...”

“What?”

“...Nevermind. Tatsuya, how fast can you get us to Konan?”

Both of them had managed to pull themselves together, grab money, and make their way down to the parking complex of Jun’s apartment before remembering Tatsuya’s motorcycle was all the way at his house in Rengedai. 

“Stupid,” Jun muttered under his breath, cursing himself for not having his license. 

“So you mean to tell me you’re in high school with your own apartment, but can’t drive?” Tatsuya mused, his expression teasing Jun by itself. 

“Hey, it’s a complicated situation. We either have to walk or... subway, I suppose.” 

Tatsuya shrugged. “We’re closer to my house than Seaside Mall. We could walk there, then I could drive us the rest of the way.”

Once again, Jun was reminded of the frantic exhilaration that was clinging to someone as they steered you around at ridiculous speeds past the traffic.

But Sumaru always looked pretty when it was whizzing by at 60 miles an hour through the visor of a motorcycle helmet. The colors of the city blended a bit prettier than usual. 

Jun hugged Tatsuya a little tighter when he remembered why, exactly, everything felt just a little brighter. 

The chatter around them just a little too cheery.

The colors of the sky just a little too saturated. 

He closed his eyes and melted into the vibration of the motorcycle until it gently halted outside the mall. 

Jun checked the silver watch that was still a bit loose on his thin wrist. Almost 1 pm. 

“Afternoon” was vague, wasn’t it? They never even confirmed they would be there. 

What was the chance of Maruki even showing up?

“Stupid...” Jun clenched the watch with his other hand. What was wrong with him today?

“Hey.”

Jun turned as he finished dismounting the bike and his eyes met warm brown ones. 

_ What’s wrong? _

_ It’s nothing.  _

_ I don’t believe you.  _

“I’m fine, alright? I just remembered we didn’t confirm we would even go or specific a time or- anything. What if he’s not here?” Jun worried aloud. 

Once again Tatsuya offered nothing more than a somehow empathetic shrug. 

“Then we figure it out. It’s not a big deal. Promise.”

“...Ok.”

The boys headed towards the entrance, Jun restraining himself from reaching out to hold onto Tatsuya’s arm for reassurance. 

He wasn’t sure he could handle the stares right now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not proofread this at all i’m so sorry but i just needed to progress the story through the boring parts as fast as i could because i’m impatient and want to get to shadow jun


End file.
